No Wipe!

A child’s mind is an endless sky open to the limitless possibilities of the imagination.  And like that endless sheet of blue that stretches over our tiny civilization, there seems to be no finite number of responses that can wander around their brains, or come out of their mouths.

So I should have been prepared when my three-year-old daughter came into the room with a broad smile on her face and proudly proclaimed,

“Daddy, I no wipe seeping doodie.”

I was shocked on a number of levels. First, that my daughter at such a young age had grasped the complexity of the verb “to seep” which I consider a rather subtle and amorphous concept to gather. Second, that she would use it so effectively and graphically. Third, that she was so proud of something so utterly disgusting.

Not wanting to appear displeased, I gently took her hand and tried to get her to express her sentiment in a more congenial fashion.

“Oh baby. You mean that you have to go potty?”

She shook her head.

“Oh...did you go potty in your pants?”

She shook her head again.

“Are you wearing a diaper?”

Again she shook her head. By this point I was getting quite nervous. Did she smear it on the walls? In the carpet? Where was this going?

“Can you show me, baby?” I asked her. She proudly took my hand and led me into her room. As we approached the door my stomach fell, half expecting to find a digusting, profane version of a Jackson Pollock scattered across her walls. As we entered the room, I held my eyes closed for a few moments, not bearing to see. Finally when I opened them . . . it was clean. No evidence of any mischief whatsoever. Confused, I looked again at my little girl who had gone over to her play box and removed two figures.  I smiled knowingly as she said,

“See daddy, I no wipe seeping doodie.”

I responded with a laugh and a hug.

“Yes, baby.” I looked at the two Disney figurines she held,

“You are Snow White and Sleeping Beauty.”

John Grace, M.D.

Class of 2000