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LESSON LEARNED In
the Summer of 1971, I was six years old. I was old enough to know better,
but too young to understand. School was out and life was good. My
days were spent with friends. Marvin was my next door neighbor. He
cried a lot and always seemed to have a runny nose. Lance was my other
friend. He was tough. He never cried and could curl his tongue up
like a cone. Playing with matches, trapping bumble bees underneath glass
jars and sharpening our pocket knives on the concrete all ranked high on the fun
list. Matches, however, held a special attraction. Forbidden by the
old people, yet readily accessible, they were kept in a drawer next to the giant
white stove. Matches had so many uses to me. Melting my model cars,
burning the heads off my army guys and setting ants on fire were just a few.
One rainy morning, I traded friends for imagination and headed to the basement.
It was a moldy maze that filtered you to the main room. A giant dungeon
with one dimly lit light hanging from the ceiling. Behind the old boiler
furnace, that I would sometimes pretend was an evil robot, was my biggest rival.
The small safe was mounted in a lonely brick column in the middle of the floor.
It was my life long goal to somehow crack this worthy opponent and claim it's
hidden treasures. After failing with a hundred or so combination spins, I
moved on to the heavy equipment; a large, half-broken hammer that I had found in
an alley and a small screwdriver stolen from my father's toolbox. With no
success, I then turned to my trusty matches and burnt the iron vault in
strategic places. After temporarily giving up on the safe, I wandered
aimlessly looking for a new project. I ended up on the threshold of the
forbidden room. It was a small, dark, evil place located in the farthest
comer of the basement. Although I had looked through the outside window
many times, it was the only room I had never set foot in. You see, it was
haunted. There were monsters, spiders and snakes. If you ever went
inside, the door would slam shut and never let you out. These were all
well known facts shared by an unreliable source, my older sister Patti.
She had been appointed my baby-sitter and warden for the Summer. Although
I knew most of what she told me were lies--such as, I was adopted and dying of a
mysterious disease, I had never challenged her on the forbidden room. If I
did go in and the door slammed shut, she would probably say, "I told him so,"
while fluttering her eyelids and listening to the screams of a boy being eaten
by vampires. As I walked up to the closed door, I imagined what great
treasures lie inside. Money, gold, guns and fire crackers could all be
mine for the taking except for one problem. They were guarded by the
scariest monsters in the world. Mummies, lions, gargoyles and maybe even
the floating hand from Barnaby Collins. I hated that show. Still the
day was young and I had no place to go, so I decided to confront the monsters.
After sliding a heavy box of books over, I slowly opened the rickety old door.
Small streaks of light danced off the walls and floor. The room was musty
like the smell of rain. There were old newspapers pasted to the ceiling.
An old dirty mattress was propped up against the wall. I shoved the box
against the open door and stepped into the room. The newspapers were
yellowed and crumbling. The walls covered with cobwebs. "Wow!" I
thought. "I've done it!" I have gone where no man has ever gone before.
Like a pirate or a cowboy or the really old guy from "Wild Kingdom." I
ended up standing over the mattress and wondering what was inside. There
were no old people to tell me I couldn't, so I sliced the mattress open with my
finely sharpened knife. The guts were clumps of white and yellow mush.
"Cool!" I thought. "Is it cotton? Is it wool?, Would it burn?
Has anyone ever peed on it?" Pulling out my matches, I quickly lit one and
threw it in the gaping hole. I had to be fast so as not to burn my
fingers. The first match was a dud, but the second hit right on target.
It seemed to disintegrate the clumps as it dropped down through the depths of
the mattress. A thin wisp of smoke rose up like a dancing snake.
"Where there's smoke, there's fire." I had heard that on TV, a much more
reliable source than my dumb sister. This was really special. I had
to show someone. I ran as fast as I could out of the room, past the evil
robot and paused only long enough for one quick spin. I then headed up the
stairs and out the back door. A hideous shriek shot from the living room,
"Be back before mom gets home," bellowed my sister. By the time I got to
Marvin's house, the rain clouds had parted giving way to a bright yellow sun
that shined down in full force. Lance was already there, setting up a full
scale military invasion on Marvin's newly created Lincoln Log fort. The
morning's adventures were already a million years in the past and now it was
time for war. It was a long, bloody affair. Hundreds of soldiers
were strewn on the ground. Their bodies burnt, shot and drowned in the
great mud-puddle lakes. It was then that I heard the call, "Danny, it's
suppertime." As I walked up the stairs and in the back door, I was greeted
by my mother and told to go wash up. Passing the table, I noticed it was
meatloaf night. I hated meatloaf night. A giant hamburger stuffed
with poison onions. My turned-up nose prompted a quick response from my
father who was also in the room, "Boy, you don't know what good food is."
I know what good food is and it's not meatloaf! Entering the bathroom, I
quickly passed my grimy, soapless hands under the water faucet and wiped them
off. The clean white towel was left with two long mud streaks. I
would take my lumps for that one later. As we all sat down to the chant of
"God is great, God is good, let us thank Him for our food," the back door
suddenly swung open. It was Lucy, the evil old lady from across the hedge.
"Your house is on fire!" She screamed loud enough to kill a man.
Danny Rhodes |