Volume 34 No. 4

Feature

Got Twain?
SIU School of Medicine did for one evening in August

In the body of Warren Brown, “Mark Twain” visited SIU as the guest lecturer for the 16th annual Emmet F. Pearson Memorial Medical History Lecture. The event, presented by the Department of Medical Humanities, was supported by a grant from the Illinois Humanities Council.

Brown, an award-winning Twain scholar and impersonator from Manteno, Ill., brought to life Twain’s words of wisdom in a rousing and stimulating presentation that had the audience rollicking with laughter. Dressed in Twain’s signature white suit, white hair and mustache, complete with cigars in his pocket, Brown captured Samuel Clemens’ relaxed, quick-witted persona in a Chautauqua-style portrayal.

The core presentation was structured around Twain’s life. Brown described his series of homes, from a 400-square-foot home for Twain and his six brothers and sisters, to his majestic “steamboat” home in Hartford, Conn. Twain’s personal tragedies, including the deaths of two of his daughters and his bankruptcy mirrored lighter subjects and aphorisms: “Someone asked me ‘what was my favorite book?’ I said ‘Vanderbilt’s checkbook.’”

He intertwined biographical anecdotes, family photos, and observations on science, medicine, and religion in an attempt to “engage the gray matter between your ears. I like to do that, but it got me in a lot of trouble,” Twain said sardonically in the author’s scratchy Midwestern speech.

Brown had a remarkable way of engaging the audience and then challenging them. He opened the talk with a joke: “Adam was the first man. Eve was the first woman. Satan was the first consultant.” Later, he quieted the audience with a particularly provocative idea: “If Jesus came back today, there’s one thing he would not be … a Christian,” and “Faith is a boy who believes in something he knows ain’t so.”

He displayed a great memory for names, calling on the audience and handing out cough drops to the dry-throated. He bewildered volunteers with a math problem: “I think mathematics is interesting; you can get any answer you want.” He often ended humorous anecdotes by asking: “How many of you think that’s a true story?”

He discussed inventions: “The first person to come up with an idea is considered a ‘quack’ until it succeeds. It takes thousands of people working on an invention, but it’s the last guy who works on an invention who gets the credit.” He described the inventions of his personal friends, electrical engineer Nikola Tesla and inventor Thomas Edison.

Brown frequently held up volumes of Twain’s books and short stories, which were laid out on a long table in front of a 12-foot map of the world. “I believe you should always tell the truth to people who deserve it, and never tell a lie except to practice. In the medical profession, there are times when it’s more important to lie to your patients so they have hope to get through a situation they may not otherwise. Truth is not always well-received by people.”

He discussed a medication called Patterson’s Patented Pain Killer. “It went down like fire. Mother used to think cholera was worse than medicine — but she didn’t take the medicine.”

He discussed life and death: “I was once asked by a reporter, ‘Is life worth living?’ I said, ‘It depends on the liver,’” and “They say the first third of life is a good time, and the rest is spent remembering it.”

He closed the evening with one of the more poignant remarks from his autobiography: “Life is a fleeting show as the saying goes, and we have to go sooner or later. To go with a clean slate is the main thing. It’s the only thing worth striving for in life. And like soap bubbles, we’re blown upon the world; we float buoyantly, and then we vanish … with a puff.”

The presentation was an adaptation of Brown’s award-winning performance, Catch the Twain, which he has performed more than 1,000 times since beginning his depiction of Twain in 1994. He was awarded the Studs Terkel Humanities Service Award in 2000.